I Think I'm gunna run for Pope. What You think? What the fuck is the worst thing that could happen? I could be a great pope, all you need to do is be a people person and think kids are sexy. I like robes and big hats and the pope has stacks on stacks. He lives in a castle. Only in 2013 would we see a fucking Pope resign, ALIVE. The last time this happened was 1450 ish look it up. It used to be the only way out of The Vatican was in a box, but Bennudict is gunna slip out the back door and chill with his nazi buds for a few more years. Honestly though, when the Pope signed up for a twitter account it made me think twice of how long this guy was gunna last.
As Pope I will promise all the Christians of the world 5 things.
One, I will force christian mingle dot com to shut down. No one on that site is really christian anyways, its more of a front for a new fetish sweeping the nation. Its called Pretending to be religious to get with ladys who are pretending to be religious.
Two, No more Twitter account, no longer will the pope tweet or anyone for that matter that works or visits the Vatican, if you tweet when you are in the vatican you will be killed with a gun.
Three, We will publicly forgive people who are scientoligst for being idiots and offer them refuge in Jerusalem. We will only provide the plane ticket, after that good luck fuckers.
Four, Dogs can officially convert to Catholicism as long as they've sat through entire church service once and don't smell bad, breathe included.
I could make Your God Damn Dreams come true! This is where step two comes in. We are going to use the The Tens to fund my running for pope, so all you nice people out there need to go to amazon.com, buy our album, and come to our shows. Here's the Link to the cd:
Also you can donate and buy shirts by contacting firstname.lastname@example.org
We also have a new tape coming out this month called Tantric Waves of Sexual Terrorism. Which you will be able to buy soon. Rock and Roll,
WE ARE GOING ON TOUR THIS SUMMER TOO TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF THE TENS TO THE CHURCH OF AMERICA.
Are you calling me a pervert?
Keep this in mind other members of society have taken upon themselves to swipe this position, some have even called on great members of the community. And even though I respect this man very highly, I am going to be the Pope I am!
How fucking cool is that..................... Kill Beyonce.