GRAINER FOR POPE

Side Note

I Think I'm gunna run for Pope. What You think? What the fuck is the worst thing that could happen? I could be a great pope, all you need to do is be a people person and think kids are sexy. I like robes and big hats and the pope has stacks on stacks. He lives in a castle. Only in 2013 would we see a fucking Pope resign, ALIVE. The last time this happened was 1450 ish look it up. It used to be the only way out of The Vatican was in a box, but Bennudict is gunna slip out the back door and chill with his nazi buds for a few more years. Honestly though, when the Pope signed up for a twitter account it made me think twice of how long this guy was gunna last. 

As Pope I will promise all the Christians of the world 5 things.

One, I will force christian mingle dot com to shut down. No one on that site is really christian anyways, its more of a front for a new fetish sweeping the nation. Its called Pretending to be religious to get with ladys who are pretending to be religious. 

Two, No more Twitter account, no longer will the pope tweet or anyone for that matter that works or visits the Vatican, if you tweet when you are in the vatican you will be killed with a gun.

Three, We will publicly forgive people who are scientoligst for being idiots and offer them refuge in Jerusalem. We will only provide the plane ticket, after that good luck fuckers.

Four, Dogs can officially convert to Catholicism as long as they've sat through entire church service once and don't smell bad, breathe included.

Five, Nuns are now priest and Priest are now Nuns. and you got to be nice to foreign people.

I could make Your God Damn Dreams come true! This is where step two comes in.  We are going to use the The Tens to fund my running for pope, so all you nice people out there need to go to amazon.com, buy our album, and come to our shows. Here's the Link to the cd:

http://www.amazon.com/Tens-Demo/dp/B009JVYFP2/ref=sr_1_2?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1360635787&sr=1-2&keywords=The+Tens+Demo

Also you can donate and buy shirts by contacting eastongrainer@yahoo.com

We also have a new tape coming out this month called Tantric Waves of Sexual Terrorism. Which you will be able to buy soon. Rock and Roll,

WE ARE GOING ON TOUR THIS SUMMER TOO TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF THE TENS TO THE CHURCH OF AMERICA.

Are you calling me a pervert?

Keep this in mind other members of society have taken upon themselves to swipe this position, some have even called on great members of the community. And even though I respect this man very highly, I am going to be the Pope I am!

How fucking cool is that..................... Kill Beyonce.

ANN ARBOR, ANN ARBOR, ANN ARBOR.

YEAH WE PLAYED IN ANN ARBOR SO WHAT,

We played, we pee'd, and we waited for triple A. Thank you too everyone who made it out to the blind pig last night. The Tens left the show, got haircuts in Ann Arbor, and then got right back to work on their second cassette release. Especially after the reaction to the new songs last night. The new set date for the release is February 28th in the honor of black history month. We had a fucking super great time last night with PLUSH DEATHLY and NINE YEARS AWAY. Hopefully we will have some footage from last nights show on the site and possibly some edited live tracks. But for now look at pictures of us and go see us on MARCH 16th at the TOKEN LOUNGE lots and lots of bands will be playing with us, its gunna be crazy. 

WE ARE BACK IN ACTION

THE TENS apologize for falling off the internet for so long, honestly we are not really sorry the internets pretty gay and people who are always on it are too. Even though that is true The Tens will be keeping the site up to date as of now and hope you check out our shit too. Literally will you look at our poop? Its Red.......

Fourteen songs later our pee turned really Yellow. In other news The Tens are in midst of planning a tour for fourteen or fifteen dates starting in late June through July. We are doing this completely on our own. So we are going to have to raise some Money!!! We are open to gifts as well as donations. We may put up some type of donation thingy on the site but for now we are open to suggestion. If you'd like to help The Tens out, or give us a gig you can always contact us through this site or here: eastongrainer@yahoo.com.

THE TENS THE TENS THE TENS THE TENS

SHIT MAN!

What Happened?

Alright its been awhile since the last post and its been just as long since the last show. But sorry we are still a band and we still want you too come listen to our music. Since the last show we have been in the works of getting gigs, booking studio time, and working on new material. Not only that I heard Justin Bebiers coming to town soon, you can count on The Tens to be there to try and kick his little rich ass. Basically the Tens check list for June is Gig, Record,Write, kick Bibibers ass. Bing Bang Boom we are going to start the summer off right. June 15th is approaching fast and The Tens will take the stage at PJ's Lager House with Plush Deathly and The Mike Hard Show.

MIKE HARD

For those of you who do not know who Mr. Hard is, heres a brief history. Mike Hard is an alternative musician from Kalamazoo Michigan. He has been in a number of successful underground bands including God Bullies,Thrall, They Never Sleep, and The Brain Saw. Both The God Bullies and Thrall have released records with Alternative Tentacles which is Jello Biafra of The Dead Kennedys Label. Now Mike Hard is back on the road performing his whole collection backed by a band made up of members from his past bands. Mike Hard's music has been blasting in peoples faces since 1986 and it doesn't look like he's stoping any time soon. For the independent musician he's truly inspiring. Heres a link to his  BLOG, check it out. Its cool. And also check out some God Bullies Below if you have never heard them. and come to the show and see Mike Hard, The Tens, and Plush Deathly Live.

SHOW #2

Two weeks ago we made it through another Tens gig with our friends Flour, Elephant Celebes, Nine Years Away, and Kedder Avant. I can't explain how great of a turn out we had and not too mention it was just a flat out good time. Thanks to everyone who made it out and watched us play. You're safe now, we won't hurt you. unless you're not at PJ's Lager House again June 15th. Now I know a lot of people are going to be like I just saw the tens a Pj's Lager House, why the fuck would I want to go again so soon? Because we fucking told you too thats why, Jeez what else do you want? A Free T shirt, Fine! You got it, Remember we got free shirts now just email us for them and we will mail them too you. Now I don't want to bore you with what happened at the show so heres a video to sum it all up for you fags.

This is "Backyard" live. Its one of our newer songs check it out. We have more material from this show that we are going to put out. Slowly but Shirley we will get everything up on the blog. Keep Reading and Turn that fucking radio off it just social cancer streamed directly to your face unless you're listening to NPR, that fine......

Yeah so I Lied

Worth It. SHIRTS!!!!

T Shirt Silk Screen

So about a week ago I lied to all of you. I don't really care, you don't really care and maybe we are all gay. But honestly I'm sorry that I promised you guys I'd be updating the site left and right then didn't. Its all gunna be okay though because we were making SHIRTS! Which believe it or not its not that easy. After days of preparation and massive amounts of cocaine we made our very own silk screen. You wanna T shirt? So basically thats why I haven't been updating the site, well I'm really lazy. As you can see The Tens symbol is now officially a silk screen. We are hoping to have some shirts ready to go for purchase at the show this Thursday at PJ's LAGER HOUSE. I hope you haven't for got about the show and are planning on being there. We have private drives to bring you to the show if needed. Please come, or we will beat in your knees. Back to the shirts. Basically we will have four shirts to pick from. Black symbol on white shirts, White symbol on black shirts, Red symbol on white shirts, and Blue symbol on green shirts. For the show this Thursday we will most likely only have one style of shirt done. Which one that is, I do not know. I will post pics of the shirts as they are being made and finished. We have no real price for the shirts. We would appreciate any donation. You name the price and we will discuss it. We are also in the midst of getting a few more products for sale and by sale I mean you can barter with us. With in the month we will have for you Shirts, Pins, Stickers, Liters, and More Tapes. Now you can wear us, hear us, stick us on stuff, pin us to your jackets, and lite your drugs with us. Go nuts and get it all. It won't be expensive at all. We aint capitalists, making moneys for homos.


Two Things

Now the show is going off with out a hitch this Thursday and you better fucking be there. Its five bucks to get in, now thats basically a dollar a band. Talk about a fucking good deal. As you know The Tens demo tape has been circulating around for awhile and the machine and materials we use to make our tapes our breaking and running out. Basically The Tens are going to have a donation jar at the show so we can  buy more materials to produce more of our demo tapes and soon our new tape. Donations can also go towards getting a shirt. You donate enough cash we will give a shirt. Shit you donate enough cash we will make out with you.......Hard.

The Show is THURSDAY at PJ'S LAGER HOUSE

WE HAVE MERCH BEING MADE BY US

WE NEED DONATIONS TO MAKE MORE TAPES

WE ARE WORKING ON NEW RECORDINGS

AND WE ARE COMING TO PUNCH YOUR FACE SOMEWHERE SOON.......... 89x sucks ass

Note To Self

Are People still Reading?

So its May, and that means The Tens have a show in fourteen days. Yeah in two weeks, at PJ's Lager House in Detroit The Tens will be performing live again. Basically I'm gunna keep updating the blog on a daily basis for the next fourteen days and I'll most definitely post the night after the show. Hopefully I can keep your attention and promote the show to the fullest during these two weeks. The show is Thursday May 17th at PJ's Lager House. That night you will be able to see these great bands:

THE TENS

FLOUR

KEDDER AVANT

THE ELEPHANT CELEBES

NINE YEARS AWAY

All of the bands playing are very good friends of The Tens and we personally feel that they are some of the most original local bands out and about right now. If you know The Tens at all or you have read the blog, you know that The Tens, Flour and The Elephant Celebes all can be found on Aeroplane Records. This will be the first show that all of the Aeroplane Records bands will be playing together. And we are very excited about that! With us The always awesome Nine Years Away who put this show together and Kedder Avant will also be playing. We expect to have a good turn out, because we have sent over a hundred thousand death threats to people across the globe urging them to come to the show. If the death threat haven't scared you enough to come to The Lager House on the 17th Click on the band names above check them out. Honestly you won't be let down. There is real raw talent spewing out of all of these bands. All you need to do is use your fucking ears to listen to them, your eyes to see them and your legs to drive and or walk to the show. Blind and Deaf guys please contact me, I'll drive you there.

For now Check out the bands and remember the show is the 17th. I'll post more information through out the week, just save the date. You got a two week head start now, no excuses this time. To make it even easier for you Robots click on the links below, they will help you mark the show in your social calendar.

OFFICIAL FACBOOK PAGE LINK

FLOUR FACEBOOK PAGE LINK

PJ's LAGERS HOUSE FACEBOOK PAGE

PJ's Lager House SITE

In other Quick News

Flour has an Ep coming out tomorrow, you can contact the guys in the band to get there disc from them. Or come to the show and they will have them there for you. Must sleep cause its two job friday tomorrow. Didn't get to say everything I wanted too tonight but I'll see you feegs tomorrow, if you're still reading. Note to self: continue to write blog for the next fourteen days. GO TO THE Show or DIE.